My hidden flaw.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m going through some bullshit in my personal life (basically, someone I see everyday is trying to manipulate me) and it’s making me think a lot about shit. After all I’ve been through health-wise, I’m honestly happy to be alive. My energy is mostly back to normal and I’m getting back to living the way a 24 year old should. I can survive on 8 hours of sleep a night without any naps, I have no vitamin deficiencies, and no Lyme ravaging my insides. 

Thus far, I’ve had no Lyme relapses. I feel healthy and I can run around all day if I want to. The bullshit doesn’t matter. I’m a strong person and this manipulating bitch can suck my figurative dick. 

This is the first time in a really long time where I can feel like I am able to actually enjoy my life. I’m enjoying every day, and it’s really great. I’m so thankful that my family looked out for me for so long and not only fought to make my school experience worthwhile, but also fought to bring my health back. I’m in debt to them forever. I’m so thankful, and for the first time in a long time, truly happy to be alive.

I’m not going to waste any more time. Thank you everybody for supporting me, I hope you all recover too! I’m rooting for you Lymies. I love you guys. <3

someone on a dating website just asked me if I’m transgender. I must be doing something right.

I feel like my slew of medical problems are resolving themselves…

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fucking fantastic.

I’m starting thyroid medication tomorrow. I hope this helps me feel better.

This sucks. I don’t think of myself as a depressed person but I have a lot of weird physical symptoms that pop up when I’m not working. The weekends are really hard for me. Basically my whole body feels like it’s made of jelly, I have a headache, and I’m unhappy. I can’t deal with this shit. Dermatillomania’s coming back as well. Fuck everything.

OBVIOUS DRAG RACE EMOTIONS AFTER THE CUT

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Seriously. Not feeling it. I told my doctor so hopefully she can fix something. Fingers crossed!

http://www.xojane.com/healthy/i-like-taking-naps-okay

Awesome article. This is why I love naps, and need all the sleep I can get. It’s self-respect, okay?

That is, if Jinkx doesn’t win it… Alyssa is endearing- she has a great attitude and a great sense of humor. If Jinkx doesn’t take the title I could very well see Alyssa taking it… we’ll see!

I was calling in my Nystatin prescription to a new pharmacy (just moved a few weeks ago) and here’s what went down:

Me: hi, I’d like to get my prescription transferred to this pharmacy.

Technician: Great. (collects information)… what prescription would you like filled?

Me: Nystatin.

Technician: You know that’s bad for your kidneys, right?

Me: What?

Technician: It’s bad for your kidneys. You shouldn’t be taking it.

Me: My doctor prescribed it to me and wants me to continue taking it.

Technician: Okay, then, I will have it filled for you.

I didn’t go into how the Diflucan was fucking up my liver, so my doctor switched me to this one. I think it was highly out of place for this technician to be criticizing the medicine that my doctor prescribed me. YOU ARE NOT MY DOCTOR, PHARMACY TECHNICIAN. Regardless, this exchange made me uncomfortable.

On another note, I’m considering calling my doctor and getting this one removed as well- seeing as I’m not on antibiotics anymore, can’t my candida be managed through diet? I hate having to take so many pills (but I’m so glad I don’t have to take Flagyl anymore especially- that pill was the death of me.)

Question: should I complain to the pharmacy? I think it was rude of her and really inappropriate. That’s just my opinion however. Thoughts?

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Those faces. Perfection. I live.

Well, THAT was atrocious.

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Wooohoo! As of now, I’m still taking my vitamins and adrenal supplements. I was also given a detox supplement to help my liver recover from all of the antibiotics, and now I don’t have to see my doctor until May. Awesome! One year later and I’m on my way back. You guys can do it too :)

Just got rid of all my journals going back from high school. There’s some dark shit in there. I’m so happy :) Time to move on with my life.

Spoilers, obviously-

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diariesofabuggygirl:

pinkpicks:

Basically they were making me sick so my doctor let me come off of them. So excited, even if it may be temporary. I’m going to seriously cut out grains now so that my body doesn’t freak out. Go me!

Congrats! Just make sure that it’s not just herxing… Don’t come off of them too early before the infections are out. Maybe try the homeopathic route? I hope this works out for you!

Don’t worry, it’s not due to herxing. I haven’t had a herx in months, actually. I think I was at the point where my only response to the antibiotics was a lot of stomach pain, jaundice and GI problems. I feel significantly better and got permission from my doctor to stop taking them. I’m still taking everything else, including my vitamins, probiotics and the Nystatin. Hopefully at this point my body can fight whatever’s left on its own, and if it gets worse once again then I will talk to my doctor and he will put me on a different antibiotic.

I wish you the best on your path to recovery! <3

My stomach problems have resolved themselves, and my energy levels are on their way back up. I’m so excited. I’ve also been consistently eating well- I did eat a corn taco shell yesterday but otherwise it’s been just meat and fruits/veggies. I expect that I will probably have a relapse at some point but my mom doesn’t think so. I hope she’s right… fingers crossed!

Basically they were making me sick so my doctor let me come off of them. So excited, even if it may be temporary. I’m going to seriously cut out grains now so that my body doesn’t freak out. Go me!

taletreader replied to your post: Apparently my liver has been overworking itself.

Milk thistle was recommended to me

Thanks :D I e-mailed my doctor so hopefully he can help me out as well. He’ll probably suggest milk thistle as well. Hope you’re doing well!

I’ve been eating a modified version of this lately- lots of meat, fat and fruits/veggies. I’ll only occasionally eat some grains so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if 20% of my diet consists of grains like quinoa and rice. I just know that this will help me feel better - I’d like to be on fewer meds and the Candida could potentially get bad again. If I end up going off of my antibiotics after all (my liver is fucked) then I need to better support my immune system with nutrients and fewer preservatives. This just makes sense to me.

I’m also in love with the idea of loading up coffee with coconut oil (“bulletproof coffee”- how fucking awesome does that sound?!). Maybe I’ll try it with green tea. I usually drink a cup of tea in the morning and never have time for breakfast, so this seems like a great idea. Will keep you guys posted!

thehuglife replied to your post: Random Drag Race Thoughts

In the first episode I didn’t like coco or Alyssa much, but by the second I started to like them. Some funny stuff comes out of their mouths. Alyssa looks like Will Arnett out of drag. jinkx is so cute.

Agreed! Alyssa kills me with the repetition (“she was backstabbing me behind my back”), and I adore Will Arnett so I’m okay with that haha. Coco is hilarious and a shit-stirrer (good television). Jinkx is so fucking cute, she’s someone I could genuinely see myself being friends with.

Basically, I don’t dislike any of the queens that are left, if I feel iffy about any of them it’s just “meh”, or their actions in the challenges annoy me, not the queens themselves. So glad we don’t have a Phi Phi on our hands this season, as far as I can tell. I don’t think Serena would have counted as the Phi Phi of this season because she’s just naive and delusional (needs to experience real life for a while, IMO). Ivy’s throwing a little shade here and there but it’s pretty lighthearted and she seems like a kind person so I’m okay with that. Good job, casting directors. Once all this drama clears up we’ve got some potential for a couple of great storylines (Detoxxxy? Please happen. I’m in love.) so I’m game. Can’t wait :D

My liver levels are high (don’t know the medical term for this) even though I’m off of the Diflucan now. I wonder if it’s the antibiotics? I’m really worried. I’m having funny symptoms like yellowy eyes (jaundice). I need to speak with my doctor and see how I should proceed.

I know I’ll be okay, it’s not fatal and I’m taking a break from work now so I can rest, but I’m still scared.

Okay, so I FINALLY saw the episode… random scattered thoughts below the jump.

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Much love :)

I started antibiotics at the beginning of February 2012 (can’t remember the exact day). Here’s how things have changed since then:

• More energy
• I think I look healthier as well, more pigment in my skin (though that is often faked with blush haha)
• My hair went from looking like a frazzled mess all the time to looking something like it did when I was a toddler- sleek, shiny and baby fine. I can attribute this to a hairstyle change too -it was thicker around 2 years ago so I had the ends thinned out into some sort of choppy hairstyle that DID NOT work, and all hell broke loose. It’s grown out since then and looks more normal. Before this whole lyme mess it was really thick and wavy so that’s pretty weird, but now it looks fine with minimal effort so I’m okay with that.
• I moved to a city!!! Now I walk everywhere, and have more muscle tone. I think this is helping with my energy levels as well.
• I can survive a 9-5 work day now. I’m tired by the end but I have enough energy to see friends or go out a few times a week
• Speaking of which, I don’t mind not being able to drink alcohol, but I miss being able to have a drink every now and then when out with friends
• I’ve abandoned the Candida diet (gasp!) but I don’t think it’s changed things too much. I’ll only eat things with yeast or dairy like twice a week now, and I never have a straight up dairy source like milk or plain cheese. Just goat cheese. I’ll have small amounts of cheese in things and haven’t had any problems really. I have had a few slices of pizza this past month and nothing bad has happened- still can’t eat too much in one sitting however. I still fit in plenty of fruits and veggies so I think it’s okay.
• I don’t sleep all the time on the weekends. Maybe once or twice a month I’ll have a lazy day. That’s it!
• I’m annoyed with the vast amount of meds my doctor has me on. I know I need them but it’s too much to keep track of, especially now that I live further than a drive away from all of my pharmacies.

Speaking of which, here’s what I take every day:

Supplements-

1. custom vitamin blend, 7 capusles a day
2. Ayur-Ashwaganda (ginseng) - 3x300 mg capsules a day, in the morning
3. Transfer Factor Lympus- 2 capsules a day (don’t really know what this one does, to be honest)
4. Cortisol Manager - 1 or 2 capsules in the evening
5. Probiotic containing Sacchromyces- 3 capsules a day

Pharmacy Prescriptions-

1. Flagyl, 250 mg- 2x a day
2. Doxycycline, 200mg enteric coated capsule- 2x a day (my stomach can’t handle the regular Doxycycline)
3. Nystatin 500,000 unit oral tab, 2 pills 2x a day (for the Candida)

That’s it! I hope I can get off some of these soon. I expect the vitamins will be long term but I’m okay with that. I hope I continue to get better, and hope you are all feeling better as well! Also, let me know if you have any questions about Lyme treatment or meds or anything like that. Hugs!

• Loving the city… I’m exhausted all the time but I’m sure my body will catch up
• I’m on too many supplements. It’s too much to keep track of and I feel like my doctor keeps adding them frivolously. They’re all like “immune support” things too. I feel like I don’t need that many of them. Plus I have to refill a new one every week. Being away and managing them by having them shipped is stressful, so I hope he can take me off of some of them when I see him in March.
• I hate apartment hunting. It sucks. Fuck that shit
• but I’M IN THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING so that’s pretty cool.

I’m interested to see how things play out…?

• got diagnosed with Lyme Disease and began treatment
• completed an apprenticeship which basically involved filing papers by the end- important thing is that it was work experience and now it’s OVER.
• did an awesome job after that where i surpassed my own expectations for myself
• jumped around with different freelance jobs and met some great people
• gained enough energy to actually be PRODUCTIVE (important- I wasn’t even able to clean my room before. Now I can work from home if need be!)
• landed an AWESOME job in the center of everything. Moving soon!

Also, lyme treatment is coming along really well! I don’t think I have that much further to go. Yay!

In summary: 2012 started out shitty but ended amazingly well. Hope 2013 is fantastic!

Delicious, and it’s doing a good job of holding me over until I can pick up some more of my probiotic.