Thank you for the follow hun. What a lovely inspiring blog! I'm tempted to make a separate one for the dermatillomania / other mental fuckedupperies, but well, I'm indecisive, and lazy. Anyway, nice to meet you (:
Why thank you :) Your blog is very happy, and it’s nice to meet you too!
This weekend I’m making lots of plans with friends so that I’m less likely to pick. I also miss my friends a lot. this way I won’t be sitting on my ass. Tomorrow my friend A and I are going to a music festival. I can’t wait.
have fun, see the world, and embrace life, I’m sure you’ll love it :)
“There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.”— Laurie Halse Anderson (Wintergirls)
I’m going to consult about getting laser hair removal covered by insurance, since having hair on my legs is causing too many problems for me.
If I am able to get it, hopefully it will stop the infections and the sensory problems. Regardless of how many scars are on my legs, I would like to not have to cover them all the time. I would like to not be in pain, and be able to flaunt my scars proudly… I know I’ll get there.
It is unfortunate that skin that is not milky smooth is seen as flawed. Everybody would be able to show that they are “flawed” if they felt comfortable with it, since we all have these flaws.
A stigma gets removed by those who are willing to show that what is perceived as beautiful is not the only option. There are all types of skin out there, all types of body types, all skin colors, all types of skin embellishments.
Scars tell an interesting story. Think of it as wearing a patterned shirt, and don’t be afraid to expose your scars. If we all do it together then maybe scars won’t be considered to be such a bad thing anymore.
This is a tricky one - most people with derma/trich do most of their damage when they are alone, enjoying some solitude. Today’s challenge is about the healthy things we do to escape our life a bit and give our brains a rest. What activities are so consuming and pleasurable that you cannot think of a time when you picked/pulled when you were there?
I have an unhealthy addiction to thrift stores, and retail therapy in general. I love browsing through tons of crap to find a few gems.
In my city, there is an area that is full of thrift stores. I love walking down the street and hitting up each and every one. It is also a particularly beautiful area, so I love walking outside and exploring- people watching in the sun, visiting new places, guessing what peoples’ lives are like. I think having Asperger’s has made me obsessed with reading/observing other people, so I love to make up stories for them: what are they thinking, what are their values? I make a game out of reading people, it’s fun.
I usually take this time as self-meditative, like being alone in a crowd. I’ll very seldom shop with other people, even my friends. During this time I’m usually lost in the moment, enjoying myself, thinking of ways in which I can become a better person (optimistically, of course). Usually this is restricted to “how can I dress myself to better match who I am on the inside, to feel more complete?” but it still counts, haha
Another thing I like to do is play my guitar. It’s impossible to pick when you’re playing a guitar.
Hey! Are you doing the 30 day trich/derma challenge? If so, can you post a list of all the questions? I'm doing the one that dermatillomaniac and sublimeflaw are doing, but neither of them posted a blog with all of the questions on it. I'd be forever grateful if you posted them! Thank you!! <3
hey there! i am indeed doing the challenge, i got the questions from sublimeflaw. she has it posted on her page, there’s a link on the right that says “DT30DAY CHALLENGE” - it should take you to most of the questions, but she has the rest posted on her blog as regular posts. a few other people have asked me this so i figured i’d share it with everyone. hope this helps!!! and good luck :)
You have come so far and shared your struggle with the world in person to your most trusted friends and family, and online with the derma/trich tumblr network. If you could go back to the first day that you can remember picking/pulling, what would you say to your younger self?
From what I can recall, I wasn’t really thinking the first day I had a heavy picking spree. I just remember noticing all of the clogged pores on my upper arms, and I had a feeling that I had to do something about it. I think it was more about the process- squeezing zits felt so good…
I actually had an experience kind of like this recently. A young teenage girl I worked with this summer has OCD (mysophobia), and we bonded - I can relate to the tendencies, the awkwardness, and the intrusive thoughts, but I didn’t tell her this. She told me one day that I have beautiful eyelashes, and that she pulls out her eyelashes to the point where her eyes are sore. I was straight up, and told her, “your eyelashes are there for a reason. They’re there to keep dirt out of your eyes. I know it may be hard to hear but you should really take care of them and not pull them out.” I then told her that I think she has beautiful eyelashes and that she shouldn’t damage them.
Her reaction? “oh, I didn’t know they keep dirt out of your eyes.” I think I embarrassed her, actually. I don’t know if I made an impact that day, but I hope she is doing better. I felt like I was talking to a younger version of myself, telling her to watch out and take care of herself.
So, back to the challenge: I would tell myself that the clogged pores serve a function - they clear dirt out of your skin. They are GOOD. They are a sign that your body is working the way it should. Scabs are nature’s band-aids and they should be left alone to prevent infection, and I should accept that I am always going to have clogged pores on my chin, for at this point I think they serve as an extra barrier from all of the germs out there. The whiteheads there seem to act as another layer of skin, a protective barrier. It’s not the way we are taught to think of impurities, but I would tell myself that the clogged pores aren’t going to hurt me, that my body will take care of them for me.
I would tell myself that my responsibility is to eat good food, drink plenty of water, and exercise, and my body will do the rest- even get rid of my zits for me. Simple as that. I later learned that I don’t even need acne products - a swipe of witch hazel does the trick. Sometimes simple is best.
My skin is confusing. My face and arms look awesome; however, my legs are a different story. While they’re healing, they are very sore. I have no open wounds on my legs, but there’s pimply eczema all over. Mild rash. It happens when I don’t get enough sleep, or when my period is coming.
I just need to stay strong and not pick. I unintentionally scratch my legs sometimes, but if I pick at them then all hell breaks loose. I haven’t even used my epilator in like a month. I’d expect my legs to be healing, right?