woooo fuck yes. Maybe it will get easier now that I have a real reason to stop (as in it may affect my health)
I think I need to go get my hair trimmed though. It’s been so long. It’s sort of a grown-out choppy bob and I haven’t done anything to it since last summer because I don’t really get split ends. It looks fine but I’m worried it will begin to look ridiculous if I lose hair due to taking antibiotics for a long time, which I’ve heard can happen.
On top of that, my typically coarse hair is now baby fine. I don’t know if it’s due to having Lyme or merely getting older. It’s not falling out in clumps, but I have no clue what will happen once I start treatment. Has this happened to anyone?
You know what though? I am more than my hair. Fuck it. I’ll be strong, regardless of what happens.
I think I’m upset about the diagnosis. I just want to receive fucking treatment already. I know my doctor needs to consult with a few other specialists about the best plan for me but I would just like to get started already. I also think I need to stop picking so that my body can focus on getting the lyme bacteria out and not stress about healing my skin as well… ugh.
That’s it’s. I’m just gonna stop. No more picking for me.
I just read an article slamming Raja for winning, complaining that she’s too arrogant, etc. I mean WTF?
I don’t think arrogance is a bad thing unless you expect everyone to bow down to you. Raja has CONFIDENCE. I’ve read her interviews and she sounds like a really interesting person with a lot of unique experiences. If she was ever condescending to the other queens it was purely for show (also maybe Shangela just simply bugged her). Besides the whole “Heathers” schtick I found her to be quite dignified and respectful.
Furthermore, her reasons for wanting to win were completely genuine. It struck a chord with me. I’m not one of those scared little boys she was talking about but I feel like I can relate to the feelings those kids must go through. In a lot of ways the experience of having Aspergers is similar to being gay. It is often a hidden difference, and people may not pick up on it. I’ve had people imply that I’m diseased, that I’m a lost cause, well FUCK NO! I have my own ways of finding happiness, and they may be different from yours, but they are still valid. Just because I have to regiment my life doesn’t make me any less of a person. It’s perfectly okay to be different in any way, whether your sexuality or your brain chemistry is different. I’d gone through the motions of portraying this before but after getting into RPDR I can actually say I truly believe this. I have more confidence in myself than I have ever had, and I have these queens to thank, especially Raja.
I wish all of them happiness though, especially the ones lacking in confidence like Stacey Layne Matthews and Alexis Mateo. You girls deserve it. Be as fierce as you can be. But honestly I just want them all to be my friends haha. You can see why i’m so excited for the new season- can’t it fucking start already?! Haha
I genuinely don’t care. I’m gonna post whatever the fuck I want and if you have a problem with it then that’s your problem alone. You’ve made the decision to have one less awesome person in your life, and for that I’m sorry.
So go ahead. Come at me bitches. I’m gonna stay awesome and you’re just gonna be awkward. It’s YOUR awkwardness, and I’m afraid that’s something you’ll have to come to terms with unless you decide to accept my influx of positivity.
So whatever. Your loss. I’m just gonna stay enthusiastic and not worry about losing someone that wasn’t really my friend in the first place. That’s it.
Easy Mac and dark chocolate… it’s that kind of day. I don’t feel happy yet but I feel calm, I feel hopeful. I feel better. I know things are going to be better. Eating foods that release endorphins, spicy tea, trying to feel relaxed.
Oh, also? Wheat Thins have these cinnamon sticks that have jalapeno juice in them. Seriously- They’re both sweet and spicy. The ultimate comfort food. Eat them with frosting. Totally happy.
Hey, you. Yes, you. The one reading this. Can I tell you something? Okay. You're beautiful. No, no, don't shake your head. You are and one day you'll believe me. You're an amazing person and I hope tomorrow is a good day for you because you sure deserve it.
“See, that’s the weird thing about recovery; I learned that I may never be completely cured, that this disease doesn’t always go away. It’s kind of lurking around, but that’s alright, because I’m stronger than it is. I know I can make it, I know I have the strength to save myself. Really that’s the most important thing I’ve learned, it’s the most important thing any of us can learn.”— For The Love Of Nancy (via breakingfromsilence)