completely unrelated to dermatillomania. i just need to vent. sorry.
I broke down crying just now. Maybe it’s been too long of a week, maybe I have too much to do, maybe i’m way overstimulated, maybe i’m upset at my skin. Either way, life sucks right now.
I wish it were 30 degrees out so that i could put on a ton of blankets and just lie there. one or two light blankets doesn’t cut it. i think it’s an aspie thing. i need to just shut off my senses sometimes.
it got to the point where today one of the kids i work with asked if i was crying… i played it off as a bad headache, which it always starts out as. by the time i got home i felt like i was going to explode. when i got home i took a shower and now i’m frantically stimming, rubbing my toes against my sheets.
i wish a medication existed that could control sensory input. i know i just needed to let myself break for a minute and let it out, and i’ll be fine later. it just sucks right now. got too much shit to worry about. and what if i can’t handle real life? i’m about to just start a demanding job, and while i love what i do, i’m worried i won’t be able to accomplish very much with the amount of breaks i need. i wonder if i should register as having a disability. do you think it would be helpful?
i think i need someone to talk to right about now. sorry this isn’t about derm, and sorry, i’ll get back to the 30 day challenge when i feel better.